Therapy needed

May 22, 2010 chellesvbur

Everything was fine until I fell in love. Love is suppose to be this amazing feeling that makes the world seem like such a perfect place. But that love is also suppose to be shared by two people. If there is only one of you that loves well then that love kinda goes psychotic. It tries to find reason and it tries to force the other to love. It goes crazy and it does crazy stuff. I love this guy. He doesnt believe me and he certainly doesnt love me back so I’ve gone a bit psycho. perhaps a bit is an understatement. I’ve gone completely one hundred percent psycho. But I don’t know how to stop. I just want him to love me but I know he wont now. I know he would prefer to just walk away from me then put up with my psychoness anymore. and I dont blame him. If I met me now I wouldnt know me. I used to be nice, fun, smiling, laughing but now I’m constantly hurting, crying, bitching, mean and I dont know how to stop. how do you stop hurting? I want to stop hurting. Please. I want him to fall for me but he wont right now and I dont blame him. I think the best thing for us is if I just walk away. He keeps talking to me (sort of, he ignores me more times than he talks) and I dont deserve it. I dont deserve fuck all I’m a useless piece of shit that hurts everyone I care about. I dont know why I’m this crazy. I need help. But I feel alone. no one will listen to me anymore. No one cares enough to listen anymore. I’m on my own. I’m alone!